Okay, so I haven’t updated the blog in awhile. It’s not that I haven’t had things to write about, and it’s not that I dislike my 7 or so loyal readers (*sob*).  I just have a lot I’m working on. Plus, it’s my blog.

So there.

Figure 1 - Progress, but weeks from portable nostalgia. (Click to enlarge)

I’ve decided to update the site with a couple of the very things that have been occupying my time. The first is one that I feel is most certainly worthy of causing delay. I became interested awhile back in homemade portable video game systems thanks to the very talented Ben Heckendorn. For my birthday back in August, I received quite possibly one of the greatest gifts ever: a Dremel.

So I broke out the soldering iron and began working on a portable, handheld, Nintendo Entertainment System that would accept NES cartridges. For the portable community, yes, this is a NOAC (NES-On-A-Chip) build. I haven’t yet named my portable, but work is coming along nicely. When completed, I will post a full build log with pictures and descriptions, and most likely a demo video. For now, here is a picture of the front of the portable (paint finished) with the controls and screen loosely set in for mock-up purposes. Pay no attention to the fact that the controls aren’t seated properly as there’s nothing holding them in.  They’re just set in there for the picture.  Enjoy!

The case is a frankencase combination of Polycase’s AG-85 enclosure, the plastic from an NES controller, and the screen bezel from a PSOne screen.  It took about 7,283 coats of Bondo and sanding, plus some precision painting to get what you see here, but this is indeed handmade.  Check back for more updates as I provide them!

Are things really that bad?

I was hungry the other night and decided to go to Taco Bell because, well, it was cheap. It’s bad enough that I’m resorting to saving money by eating at Taco Bell, but you know things are really bad when even they’re cutting back.  What have we come to expect from a Taco Bell taco?

• 100% USDA Choice Grade D meat, a step above dog food
• Partially stale hard or soft shell
• Cheese
• Cost at less than $1.00
• Lettuce
• Approximately 283 packets of hot sauce

Figure 1 - Puke. Eh, I'll eat it anyway.

To my disdain, upon opening my taco, I found that there was no lettuce (see the opposite of appetizing in Figure 1).  A head of lettuce costs about $1.00 at the grocery store.  Taco Bell, a fast food chain, probably gets them at a bulk discount, maybe at $0.85 a head.  Is the economy so in the tank that I can’t get my expected 15 shards of lettuce on my parasite infested taco? I mean, I’m trying to be health conscious here.  Without lettuce, I’m eating grade D meat on what I assume is some form of a Mexican cracker with a bunch of cheese.  As a side note, “Mexican cracker” is a slight oxymoron, and it makes me giggle.

What does not rouse a guffaw from my gullet is being deprived of my greens on my taco. This increases the likelihood that my colon will become detached from my gullet.  Furthermore, what the fuck is a gullet?  Back to the topic at hand.  I also did not receive my suitcase of various hot sauces. I was merely given enough hot sauce to evenly spread over my three tacos.  Though most of the aforementioned taco criteria had been met, enough had been omitted to make me realize we may be in a recession.  If things are really this bad, I need to start exploring effective ways to make my money work for me that don’t also give me explosive, uncontrollable diarrhea.

Why would you get your election results from a reputable news source when you can get them here on 2Lincolns.com via a widget embedded from a reputable news source? Here are up to date election results provided by MSNBC.  Enjoy!

Though this article, like most on 2Lincolns.com, is meant to be satirical and in good fun, I do want to take a serious moment to express my condolences to Barack Obama and his family for the loss of his grandmother. Her spirit lives on in his accomplishments, and she should be proud of that legacy.

On the eve of one of the most historic presidential elections in the history of the United States, some very important questions still linger.  Leave your thoughts in the comments.

5. Can Polar Bears Really Adapt?

Figure 1 - "I can has sea lions still?"

With the economy in the shitter, the environment, though still an issue, has been pushed to the back of a lot of peoples’ minds.  I do have some level of faith in both candidates abilities to explore cleaner energy possibilities, but the damage could already be done. I caught up with some Alaskan polar bears recently, though they declined to comment on the situation.  Instead, they opted for aggression.  Luckily I found that screaming like a 12-year-old girl while also running like one is an effective deterrent when faced with a potential polar bear attack.

The question still remains.  Can polar bears adapt to a warming environment (Figure 1), or will they even have to?  We know that Sarah Palin is no friend to the environment and its wildlife, but John McCain promises clean coal and nuclear power, so there could be hope for this ticket.  Either McCain’s policies will save the habitat of the polar bears, or Sarah Palin will kill them all, meaning they won’t have to worry about adapting.  Win-win, right?  Barack Obama wants to invest $15 Billion a year in renewable energy, but I have my doubts about Joe Biden. He kind of looks like a pirate, which is totally awesome, but this in no way helps polar bears, nor is it related to anything else in this article.

Read the rest of this entry

The Huffington Post recently reported on a Barack Obama rally in Pennsylvania held in the rain on a day when John McCain canceled:

Barack Obama spent part of Tuesday outside in the rain in Chester, PA, while John McCain postponed his outside rally in nearby Quakertown. Dressed in sneakers and jeans, the rain pouring down as he spoke, Obama addressed the 9,000 who turned out. “Let me just begin by saying that a little bit of rain never hurt anybody.”

In the spirit of the Presidential contest, 2Lincolns is holding a contest of its own.  Use the comments below to provide a caption for the photo shown here:

Write your caption to this photo in the comments!

I will judge the captions and decide the winners, but feel free to comment on the ones you think are the best.  Here are the prizes:

First Place: Obama ‘08 bumper sticker & button

Second Place: Obama ‘08 bumper sticker

Third Place: McDonald’s Monopoly 2008 game pieces - Baltic Avenue & Free Medium Fries

Don’t like Barack Obama? You can participate too!  Just, um…burn the bumper sticker if you win or put it on your toilet.  I suppose you could always poke a supporter with the button’s pin, but that’s just kind of dick.  I guess you should try to come up with the third best caption and shoot for those medium fries.

You must use a valid email address when commenting to win.