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You have been redirected to this version of 2Lincolns.com because your computer's display resolution is set to 800x600.
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Since you insist on browsing the web in 1996 style, I have served you 2Lincolns.com as it might have looked in 1996. I spent a decent amount of time designing 2Lincolns.com catering to those users who may visit the site with a resolution of 800x600 and those who may be using Internet Explorer 5.5. After awhile I asked myself, why the hell am I catering to the 1% of people stuck in the age of free Geocities web pages and animated GIFs?
It is my duty as a member of the internet community to discourage the usage of primitive technology for the sanity of web developers everywhere. That being said, if you're visiting my site with a resolution of 800x600, tough s#%t, this is what you get. Update your display settings or GTFO.
For those of you from the present day with modern screen resolutions who time traveled over here to see what internet life was like in 1996, return to the post on the real 2Lincolns.com for cool, smart, kick@!% people whom I don't hate by clicking on the book below...or you can continue reading to see what 2Lincolns might have been like in 1996.
If you are here due to your s#!%ty screen resolution, I present to you a hypothetical 2Lincolns.com, circa 1996.
Today, the loser who helped start Apple (Steve Jobs) had his company, NeXT, bought out by Apple. Sucks to be him. Nobody uses Apple computers anymore. I'd be surprised if this fruity company even exists in ten years. Nothing will ever dominate Windows 95. I mean, it would pretty much take an entire collapse of Microsoft and incredible innovation by Apple for them to penetrate the market. Boy, I would not want to be Steve Jobs right about now...especially if they're paying me in stock.
Bill Clinton beat Bob Dole to win his second term as president. I don't know about you, but I really like this guy. I mean, he just seems like a straight shooter. No stains on his record, and everyone close to him always seems to be spitting the truth. At first Clinton was a hard politician to swallow, but I think he's really blown the roof off of this country's potential. I look forward to four more years of this guy. He's not some blowhard politician spouting his agenda all over everything. Free from scandal and telling the American people the truth. All this, and not to mention our entire country is covered in this man's surplus. Bravo, president Clinton, and good luck on the next four. It'll be nice to remember a president for what he did for the country and not a scandal for once.
What in the name of hacky sacs and pog is up with this controller? Does Nintendo really think I'm going to abandon my trusty plus sign directional pad for this midget joystick? I really don't ever see myself placing my left hand on the middle finger of this controller. Thus, I give this controller the middle finger. Despite that, the graphics on this thing are awesome! Three dimensions is going take some getting used to given that I've been living in two dimensions thusfar in my life. Err...my videogame life. I wish they had released more than just Mario64 and Pilotwings64 though. Franchise launch title and...landing planes. Sweet. Right.
The Chicago Bulls set a record, winning their 70th game. Michael Jordan is the best basketball player ever! I don't think he'll ever retire. If he does, I don't think he'd ever come back or play any other sport because that would defeat the purpose of going out on top. I mean, think if he were to try baseball. That would just be embarrassing! No sir, Jordan knows better. He will retire someday on top of the sports world, never to return. Jordan will only play in the NBA once. Not twice, not three times, once. The only three-peats for this man are on the court, that's for sure. I still curse Midway to this day for not securing the rights to use Michael Jordan in NBA Jam. "Air Dog" will never be as good as "Air Jordan".
"Braveheart" won the Academy Award for best Oscar! This is truly deserved for this awesome movie. Mel Gibson also won best director. If you ask me, he should have won best actor too! While watching this movie, Mel Gibson was so good that I really, truly thought that he was crazy. In watching William Wallace lead his fellow Scotsmen to freedom against the English, Gibson successfully portrayed Wallace as a raving mad, revengeful lunatic. I have no idea how he got his motivation for such a performance. I mean, Gibson seems like such a mellow guy, which is why his performance floors me so much. I really, truly, without a doubt thought he was certifiably insane. Like get pulled over for drunken driving and shout anti-semetic remarks insane. He was THAT GOOD.
Again, for those of you from the present day with modern screen resolutions who time traveled over here to see what internet life was like in 1996, return to the post on the real 2Lincolns.com for cool, smart, kicka@#% people whom I don't hate by clicking here.
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