I was browsing the news sites and noticed a story CNN had picked up from China’s state-run news agency about 12 construction workers involved in an elevator accident.  Unfortunately, all of the workers were hurt in the incident, but not before being killed (see Figure 1).

Figure 1 - Apparently construction workers carry a ready supply of Phoenix Downs.

I was watching the Cleveland Browns take on the Washington Redskins today when Clinton Portis ran into the end zone for a 3 yard touchdown run in the third quarter. Upon coming back from the commercial break, CBS summarized the scoring drive as follows:

Figure 1 - Maybe the graphics guy for CBS Sports is a distraught Browns fan?

Given that this was the first scoring in a game dominated by 3 and outs, a missed 36 yard field goal, and shots of cheerleaders covering up in the brisk weather, my guess is one of the CBS Sports guys fell asleep on his keyboard in the production van.

If you’ve gone to any major news website in the past couple of weeks, you’ve probably either been confronted with a picture of one of the 2008 United States presidential candidates or…

…a picture of a sad stockbroker.

I’ve compiled the gallery below of sad stockbrokers, providing captions for your enjoyment as you look for something to smile about after seeing that your 401(K) is down 42%.  Remember, for my tips on what to do in these uncertain times, click here.

Click on any of the images below to view them with captions at their original size in a slide show. Yes, a slide show of stockbrokers.  But with captions!!!

Ironically, while I was finishing my final edits on this post (11:32 PM 10/9/2008), I had The Colbert Report on in the background and he offered up disgruntled stockbroker poses for the media to use in their Friday publications.  Bravo, Stephen, we share the same laughing muscle and for that I am honored.  Look for the video after the break.

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I don’t care if they’re cookies or fruit and cake.  What I want to know is how my unopened sleeve of Fig Newtons ended up like this:

Figure 1 - If this is the most exciting moment of your day, well...that's just sad.

I would have tried to sell this rare food anomaly on Ebay, but I was hungry. Coincidentally, this is the same reason I no longer have my potato chip shaped like Quebec.

UPDATE (11:50 PM 10/9/2008): This post has made the top 10 on ColdMud.com’s “Mains” list for October 9, 2008.ColdMud.com provides “The best food and drink writing and the latest news, reviews and gossip, updated daily from sources around the world.”  I give all the credit to the Nabisco Newton handlers.