Figure 1 - I feel like I'm several feet shorter at the Prancing Pony every time I tip one back these days.

I had been wanting to go to the flea market for awhile to get some Dremel bits, old video games, and whatever other treasures and deals I could unearth.  I planned on going one Saturday awhile back when my girlfriend approached me about going to a renaissance fair. I’ve been to a renaissance fair before, and decided I had gotten my fill.  She was already planning on going with one of her girlfriends anyway, so declining wasn’t that big a deal.

It’s not that I don’t like the idea of a renaissance fair, it’s the fact that people who will not break character when talking to me creep me out. There comes a point where the novelty wears off and you just start scaring me.  Plus, if you’re going to go all out, at least be as historically accurate as possible.  I mean, some witch burnings, beheadings, and plagued villagers would certainly add some credibility, but then nobody would want to come back, which means there wouldn’t be any renaissance fairs. Okay, sounds good.

I’m not completely against renaissance fairs, though, as they do have their definite positives. These festivals usually have an abundance of good food and beer, as well as a lot of cool stuff to buy.  How many other places do you know where you can buy swords, axes, and chain mail? I was also aware that they sold beer mugs at these events, but figured they were no better than anything you’d find at your local Oktoberfest.  What my girlfriend returned with proved me dead wrong.

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Owning pets sometimes feels like preparing for parenthood, though if my future kids start meowing, shedding, and biting me, I’ll have just reason to be worried. Also, if I find myself ever petting my children, well…I’m probably going to jail.  Either way, I’ve been told something about kids and toys that I can validate from my own experience as a child.  When you buy a young child a toy, they’ll most likely be more interested in playing with the box.

Figure 1 - They heard there were fish in the Amazon.

In this respect, I’ve found that young cats don’t differ all that much from young children. Though they’ve grown to enjoy their toy mice, fish, balls, monkeys, and Ewoks, my cats play more with cardboard boxes and paper bags more than anything else.  They love to hide in them, dive in them after toys, and pose as Amazon.com products (Figure 1).

Kittens become cats pretty fast, and mine have started to outgrow the cardboard carrier they came in from the Humane Society. Thus, I’ve started to think that I may need a cat carrier for their next vet visit or trip to wherever it is cats hang out on the weekends.  I started looking at cat carriers online, but with stuff like this $78 man card forfeitter out there, I figured there has to be a more economical solution. Granted, there are cheaper and more manly carriers in existence, but I still feel most are pretty overpriced.

Okay, fine.  There’s nothing manly about a cat carrier.  I said it.  Happy?

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I bought a PlayStation 3 at launch, I paid $600 for it, and looking back two and a half years later, I don’t regret it one bit.

Figure 1 - Yes, I lived here for almost two days to buy PlayStation 3.

On November 15, 2006, I set out with two friends to get in line for Sony’s newest gaming console, PlayStation 3. The system didn’t come out until November 17, but lines were already forming everywhere and word was that the largest shipment that any store would get would be twenty 60GB models and six 20GB models.  After calling around to what seemed to be every toy and electronics store in the region, we found three spots in line within the top twenty places at a Best Buy forty-five minutes from my apartment.

I’m not much of a camper. It’s not that I don’t like camping, in fact, I enjoy it.  I just don’t camp often enough to have accrued a wide array of camping supplies.  Consequently, I had to purchase a tent. I was already going to be spending $600 on a gaming console, so I didn’t want to break the bank on something I might use once or twice, so I bought a cheap two man tent (Figure 1) on eBay. If you’ve been paying attention, there was going to be three of us waiting in line.  It was also November, and I’m not much for cuddling with dudes for warmth–or for any other reason–so I also bought a small propane heater and we decided that we’d sleep in shifts.

We didn’t consider this to be the end of our preparations.  We also brought a power inverter and extension cord to draw power from my car in the parking lot, some video games, a laptop, books, and of course, a decent amount of snacks. It may have been cold and rainy, but the experience was a hell of a lot of fun.  The Best Buy staff was pretty hospitable, allowing us to leave the line once they had our names to use the restroom, go get food, and hell, they even bought us pizza at one point.  Despite all of this, the fact still remained that we were waiting in line for one and a half days in the cold…for a video game console.

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Figure 1 - Do you think Tiger Woods lays up? Hell no. He mans up.

Your slice you fixed is back.  The ponds seem bigger, and the fairways smaller.  You’ve lost that touch on your putter, and your scorecard is in triple digits.

Golf season has officially begun.

Kenny Mayne, of ESPN fame, has recently begun doing commercials for Top Flite’s D2 branded golf balls.  You may have seen some of these commercials, but what you might not have seen is Kenny on the road taking on wuss golf.

Are you laying up instead of going for the green?  Kenny has two words for you:

“Man up.”

Hit from the right tee box.  Don’t be hitting from the ladies tee or from the tee for ladies who are really good.  Don’t be the wuss of your group.  When you grab your driver, make it a big driver, not a three.

That fuzzy animal club cover your girlfriend bought you?  Throw it away.

So remember, before you go out there this year and before you start “working on things” (see “making things worse”), remember to man up.

Video after the break.

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