A friend sent me a picture (The previously un-doctored image in Figure 1) of an unusual curbside marking near his work.  I’m not sure what was necessarily meant by the yellow paint on the curb, but the only drivers this will deter from parking in this spot are action figures and chipmunks that can pass a maneuverability test.

For anyone preparing to comment that the Barbie car in the picture is not to scale, save it.  If it were, you wouldn’t be able to see it.  I’ve made quite clear my stance on PhotoShop accusations in the past.

Perhaps this was meant to be a future site of a fire hydrant, lemonade stand, or roadside porta-pottie.  Either way, if you see this keep the throttle full on your big wheel.

Click the picture to enlarge.

A lot of people hate moving, and I’m not excluded from that group.  The most painful thing about moving is by far the move itself, from renting a truck to bribing your friends with sexual favors beer or a free meal to help you move that couch you claim “probably isn’t all that heavy.”  One major annoyance I have with moving is  filing all of the address changes.  When you move, you need to update your credit card companies, subscriptions, frequent customer cards, hot dog of the month club…the list goes on.  I moved recently and had to go through this all over again.

The hardest part of this hell is remembering everything your address is tied to, so I started making a list of everything.  As I moved down the list, I realized some organizations make this process easier than others.  There were actually a couple of places that I literally could not, based on policy, update my address online.  Really.  I’m serious.  I couldn’t update my Wells Fargo credit card’s address online either, but not because of policy.  It’s because their website is complete and utter shit.  Well, it was.  I say that because the shit site I used to sign on to was no longer there.  POOF!!! Gone.  I found another website for Wells Fargo cards–that’s right, they have different sites for each different type of account–but couldn’t get it to accept any of my credentials.  I swallowed my pride and picked up the phone to call customer service…for a credit card company.

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Is 2Lincolns.com becoming a food blog?  Seems odd, though it would be fitting seeing as though I got the idea for the name from a commercial for double bacon cheeseburgers.  Food-related posts began with my post regarding a Fig Newton packaging faux pas.  Shortly thereafter, I wrote a post on Taco Bell cheating me out of what I’ve come to expect for around a dollar.  A few months back I expressed my disdain for rogue onion rings in my french fries.  Recently, my friend sent me a picture of a package of pizza bagels with one overturned, mockingly keeping with the spirit of the original post.

Another friend of mine has decided to keep the spirit alive by sending me what you see in Figure 1.  That, by his account, is supposed to be a McDonald’s Big Mac.  While vacationing in Chicago, he ordered this from a cafeteria in a museum.  Well, actually, this isn’t at all what he ordered. This is three patties, one and a half buns, what looks to be mustard, some very sad lettuce, and what I hope is small pieces of onion.

The Big Mac is a sandwich so popular that it has its own jingle.  I have never worked at a McDonald’s and even I know what goes on a Big Mac.  Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, and onions on a sesame seed bun.  Good, we all know that one.  I hope whoever screwed this sandwich up does not have lofty goals in life.  Of course, when you pay someone minimum wage, you can’t expect your employees are going to be above doing half ass work and doing whippits in the cooler.  Perhaps this particular employee is just putting forth the appropriate effort that aligns with his or her wages.  In that case, I applaud the fast food fuck-up.

I don’t know what special sauce is, nor do I want to know what makes it special.

Having seen my post about a Fig Newton anomaly awhile back, my friend recently happened upon a similar situation and sent me a picture (Figure 1). Excuse the quality of the photo as it was taken with a cell phone camera.

Notice the lower left pizza bagel is flipped upside down? Amazing, huh?  Well, it’s not, but his contribution to reliving the spirit of my original post is appreciated.  If this post is anything like the other one, I expect plenty of comments regarding how easy it would be to fake this by manually flipping a pizza bagel in the loose packaging, whereas Fig Newtons come in a vacuum sealed wrapper.  I also expect comments on how I “Photoshopped” the image.

I also hope, that one day, everyone is able to successfully locate their sense of humor.

I’m really dumbfounded at how the internet community decides what succeeds. My most popular post on this site is one about an oversight in food packaging.  I sure am glad I do this mostly for fun. Otherwise, I probably could not afford pizza bagels, and I think they’re just freaking delicious.

I had been wanting to go to the flea market for awhile to get some Dremel bits, old video games, and whatever other treasures and deals I could unearth.  I planned on going one Saturday awhile back when my girlfriend approached me about going to a renaissance fair. I’ve been to a renaissance fair before, and decided I had gotten my fill.  She was already planning on going with one of her girlfriends anyway, so declining wasn’t that big a deal.

It’s not that I don’t like the idea of a renaissance fair, it’s the fact that people who will not break character when talking to me creep me out. There comes a point where the novelty wears off and you just start scaring me.  Plus, if you’re going to go all out, at least be as historically accurate as possible.  I mean, some witch burnings, beheadings, and plagued villagers would certainly add some credibility, but then nobody would want to come back, which means there wouldn’t be any renaissance fairs. Okay, sounds good.

I’m not completely against renaissance fairs, though, as they do have their definite positives. These festivals usually have an abundance of good food and beer, as well as a lot of cool stuff to buy.  How many other places do you know where you can buy swords, axes, and chain mail? I was also aware that they sold beer mugs at these events, but figured they were no better than anything you’d find at your local Oktoberfest.  What my girlfriend returned with proved me dead wrong.

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