Figure 1 - I feel like I'm several feet shorter at the Prancing Pony every time I tip one back these days.

I had been wanting to go to the flea market for awhile to get some Dremel bits, old video games, and whatever other treasures and deals I could unearth.  I planned on going one Saturday awhile back when my girlfriend approached me about going to a renaissance fair. I’ve been to a renaissance fair before, and decided I had gotten my fill.  She was already planning on going with one of her girlfriends anyway, so declining wasn’t that big a deal.

It’s not that I don’t like the idea of a renaissance fair, it’s the fact that people who will not break character when talking to me creep me out. There comes a point where the novelty wears off and you just start scaring me.  Plus, if you’re going to go all out, at least be as historically accurate as possible.  I mean, some witch burnings, beheadings, and plagued villagers would certainly add some credibility, but then nobody would want to come back, which means there wouldn’t be any renaissance fairs. Okay, sounds good.

I’m not completely against renaissance fairs, though, as they do have their definite positives. These festivals usually have an abundance of good food and beer, as well as a lot of cool stuff to buy.  How many other places do you know where you can buy swords, axes, and chain mail? I was also aware that they sold beer mugs at these events, but figured they were no better than anything you’d find at your local Oktoberfest.  What my girlfriend returned with proved me dead wrong.

Upon her return, my girlfriend greeted me with something I did not see at the flea market: the leather beer mug you see in Figure 1. On it, the creator has hand painted the Tengwar inscription in the black speech of Mordor that is present on the One Ring from The Lord Of the Rings.  I’ve compared it with the actual text (Figure 2), and it is verbatim save a brushstroke here or there. The mug is waxed on the inside to prevent leaks and the leather from absorbing flavor.  The bottom is wood.  It’s washed with a small amount of soap and warm water.  The creators of the mug also guarantee their products for life, and will even re-wax them.  Such craftsmanship is worthy of advertisement, so head on over to Ye Dragon & Unicorn and get one yourself.

Figure 2 - One ring to rule them all, one ring to find them, one ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them.

Naturally, my first response upon receiving this was “[Gollum voice] My preccccccccciousssssssssssssss!!!”

Figure 1 - They heard there were fish in the Amazon.

In this respect, I’ve found that young cats don’t differ all that much from young children. Though they’ve grown to enjoy their toy mice, fish, balls, monkeys, and Ewoks, my cats play more with cardboard boxes and paper bags more than anything else.  They love to hide in them, dive in them after toys, and pose as Amazon.com products (Figure 1).

Kittens become cats pretty fast, and mine have started to outgrow the cardboard carrier they came in from the Humane Society. Thus, I’ve started to think that I may need a cat carrier for their next vet visit or trip to wherever it is cats hang out on the weekends.  I started looking at cat carriers online, but with stuff like this $78 man card forfeitter out there, I figured there has to be a more economical solution. Granted, there are cheaper and more manly carriers in existence, but I still feel most are pretty overpriced.

Okay, fine.  There’s nothing manly about a cat carrier.  I said it.  Happy?

Anyway, I decided given their love of cardboard boxes, there was a temporarily solution to be had as long as I hung onto my empty 12-packs of pop:

Figure 1 - Does Drew Carey hate pet procreation as much as Bob does?

Okay, so it wasn’t as simple as someone ignoring the post showcase showdown message of “Help control the pet population, have your pets spayed or neutered,” (Figure 1) and just like that I have cats. I had wanted a household pet for sometime.

Figure 2 - She put up a tough fight. Rest in peace, Jessie.

As any pet owner knows, a pet is a member of the family, and our dog Jessie was no different. When my grandfather died, my dad stayed back a few days extra to help my grandmother out.  A few weeks before my grandfather died, my uncle’s Collie had given birth to a litter of puppies.  As one family member left our lives, another entered as my dad returned with a pint-sized version of Lassie that we named Jessie.

Jessie was the most recent casualty among our history of family pets. There were cats, hamsters, and the occasional jar of bugs…though those didn’t seem to last as long.  It had been almost ten years since I had owned any cats, but I had decided that if I was to get any pets at this point in my life, it was going to be a cat.

Figure 3 - Grady likes balls more than her neutered brother does. He's a little sore on the subject.

The reason for this had nothing to do with favoring them over dogs as I like both equally. Rather, it had to do with the fact that the amount of care and attention that each pet requires.  Dogs are much more socially demanding, need to be let outside, and need space to roam. Having a full-time job and living in an apartment made the decision easy.

I knew I could get a pet at a pet store, but also knew that there were a lot of pets that could use a good home at the Humane Society. Though in the end I walked away happy, going to the Humane Society can be a depressing experience.  There are so many animals that deserve a good home, and not all of them will find one.  I urge anyone looking for a pet to adopt.

Figure 4 - Hamilton is a very chill and social cat, though he meows alot. I have thus far been unable to translate.

I know Grady is most often times a boy’s name, but the way I figure it, spaying and neutering kind of adds ambiguity to the whole thing.  Plus, they’re my pets.  I could’ve named it Skeletor, fuckface, or Han Solo if I wanted to. For the record, Han Solo is a damn cool name for a pet.  As for the origins behind my pets’ names?  That’s another story…

Figure 1 - I found the turkey had an enlarged prostate and wasn't long for this world, so we were right to kill and eat it out of mercy. Tasty mercy.

It’s that time of the year. You barely see some family members the whole year, then you see them all, a lot, in the span of two months.  Kind of like that rash I’ve been ignoring, except less itchy, and with presents.  It’s a busy time of year for a lot of people, including me. I made a choice to let my blog suffer to spend time with my family, get some shopping done, and play video games.  The opportunity cost between that and my approximately $0.12 a month in ad revenue made it an easy choice.  I don’t do this blog for money, though, I do it for my own enjoyment. I just enjoy my family, turkey, and PlayStation 3 more than blogging.

So they won out.

Thanksgiving was relatively uneventful, and that we made it the whole meal without any burping contests or audible flatulence. I also got to carve the turkey with my brother (Figure 1).  Nothing whets the appetite like being elbow deep in a turkey’s ass.  The food was awesome, the football games sucked, and nobody reading this blog probably gives a crap.

After all, you’re here for my…um…

Figure 2 - "Twilight's" influence is unstoppable now.

Anyway, I also took the time off to get some holiday shopping done. Thankfully, nobody was trampled when I was shopping.  If your priorities are so misaligned that you put a good deal on an HDTV above somebody’s life, I suggest you approach said TV and tip it over on your face.  Congratulations, you saved a couple hundred dollars on a mediocre TV and all it took was somebody’s life.

Shopping on “black friday” is usally something I avoid, but with the economy cratered, I figured it wouldn’t be that bad…and it wasn’t. I do recommend that if you’re ever shopping for women and they’ve given you a list, be prepared for “cute” to be used as a qualifier for at least half of the things on that list.  You will not know what this means. If all else fails, just shoot for things with flames and stuff on it.  Speaking of flames, I noticed that “Hot Topic” is taking measures to prevent fires started in the interest of halting the spread of “vamp kids” (Figure 2).  You know, because of the bricks.  Okay, I thought it was funny enough to look like a douche for the 4 seconds it took me to take a picture of the store with my cell phone.

Figure 3 - The most fun...well, legal fun one can have for $60.

The other occupant of my time recently has been none other than “Sackboy”, the star of the recently released PlayStation 3 exclusive, LittleBigPlanet (Figure 3). This game is Mario on crack.  A nearly never ending platformer.  For those who don’t know, LBP is a side scrolling platformer, though I still consider it 3-D due to 3 levels of depth in the levels. In the story mode, you go through the levels, collecting objects and materials with which to build your own stages.  The level creator is intuitive and surprisingly easy to use given the fact that you’re on a console with a controller. There are tutorials aplenty, and the customizations are limitless.  After creating a level, you can publish it online for others to play, rate, tag, and favorite.  What you end up with is a seemingly endless supply of levels to a very well designed platformer. The physics and graphics are top notch, as is the fun.  Games like LBP only come along every so often, and are often unappreciated.  Mario Paint is the last game I can think of anything like LBP.

I’d write more, but I need to add another fire pit to my level.

…and perhaps a zipline.