Figure 1 - Yes, Kanye, once again you've told us what a giant tool you are.

I guess we shouldn’t expect more from a man who has said such things as:

“I realize that my place and position in history is that I will go down as the voice of this generation, of this decade.”

If this weren’t dumb enough in and of itself, Mr. West, in his phrasing, implies that a decade is longer than a generation.  His humility doesn’t end there either.  I really have no other way to lead into this than to say that what you’re about to read is so asinine that you may shit your pants in a fit of amazement at the undeniable cluelessness that the following statement displays:

“The Bible had 20, 30, 40, 50 characters in it.  You don’t think that I would be one of the characters of today’s modern Bible?”

Fucking wow.  I’ve decided to do my part.

To prevent at least one more person from listening to Kanye West’s music and to honor Taylor Swift since she got the shaft by Kanye, I went down to a second hand CD store, picked up a copy of Kanye’s “Late Registration”, and swiftly destroyed it with a Taylormade 4 iron.

Video after the break.

Figure 1 - It wouldn't be the first time a woman made mostly of plastic had to talk her way out of a ticket.

A friend sent me a picture (The previously un-doctored image in Figure 1) of an unusual curbside marking near his work.  I’m not sure what was necessarily meant by the yellow paint on the curb, but the only drivers this will deter from parking in this spot are action figures and chipmunks that can pass a maneuverability test.

For anyone preparing to comment that the Barbie car in the picture is not to scale, save it.  If it were, you wouldn’t be able to see it.  I’ve made quite clear my stance on PhotoShop accusations in the past.

Perhaps this was meant to be a future site of a fire hydrant, lemonade stand, or roadside porta-pottie.  Either way, if you see this keep the throttle full on your big wheel.

Click the picture to enlarge.

Figure 1 - Timing is key. I added the poisonous gas to remove the shortcut past these difficult jumps.

I had been sitting at 70% or so complete for trophies on LittleBigPlanet for PlayStation 3, with the only trophies left to achieve being those associated with creating a level.  I had put this off for awhile, picking up other games, figuring this would be a large undertaking consuming days of my time.  I also struggled with the dilemma of what my level should be about.  I didn’t want to just make a level, I wanted to make a good level.

I decided the best way to design a level was to draw it out on paper first.  I began making rough sketches of individual ideas and obstacles, both from my own mind and from my experiences playing the game, and a level began to take shape.  I had already completed all of the level creation tutorials, so I knew what I was getting into, but I was pleasantly surprised with how quickly I was able to create and tweak different things in my level.  I had forgotten how intuitive the system is.  This basically put to rest my theory that this undertaking would take days.

Just over one day after starting, my first level, “Sackboy Skills Training” was published.  I went with a basic level concept with no distinct theme so as to get my feet wet.  Future endeavors in level creation might yield a more imaginative concept.  The level consists of standard grab and swing obstacles, jumping and timing hazards, a times two area, a disappearing bridge, an extremely hazardous cave section, a Paintinator section, and a zipline.  The disappearing bridge is available as a community object encapsulated in the only prize bubble in the level (though there are many score bubbles).

I think for a first level, this didn’t turn out too bad.  I think my next venture will be a survival mode level involving explosives.  After spending a decent amount of time creating something, I would not mind a break to blow some stuff up.

Video after the break.

Figure 1 - Time to bring down some servers!

About a week back I received an email from the PlayStation Network asking me to fill out a brief survey, thereby registering me for possible selection for the upcoming MAG private beta test. Here we are, a week later, and I’ve been selected as one of the lucky few (figure 1), beta code sitting in my inbox.  This will be my second beta test on the PlayStation 3, with the first being PlayStation Home.  Let’s hope MAG is a little more worth my time.

If you’re not familiar with MAG, it stands for “Massive Action Game”–major fail in the title department–and is an online shooter designed with a unique server architecture allowing it to support online battles of up to 256 players at once.  Shooters usually fall stale with me as they feel like the same thing over and over, but I am excited to see if MAG can accomplish this feat of scale that we haven’t yet seen in console gaming.  The game supposedly also divides players into 8-player squads, with four squads forming a platoon, and four platoons forming a company.  MAG is scheduled to be released in January 2010.

Click after the break for proof screenshots of the invite and ensuing download.

Figure 2 - Congratulations, you've been selected to have your ass handed to you.

Figure 3 - 4.75MB closer to annihilation

Figure 1 - Is the Wells Fargo wagon a victim of dysentery, or just lacking a sense of direction?

The hardest part of this hell is remembering everything your address is tied to, so I started making a list of everything.  As I moved down the list, I realized some organizations make this process easier than others.  There were actually a couple of places that I literally could not, based on policy, update my address online.  Really.  I’m serious.  I couldn’t update my Wells Fargo credit card’s address online either, but not because of policy.  It’s because their website is complete and utter shit.  Well, it was.  I say that because the shit site I used to sign on to was no longer there.  POOF!!! Gone.  I found another website for Wells Fargo cards–that’s right, they have different sites for each different type of account–but couldn’t get it to accept any of my credentials.  I swallowed my pride and picked up the phone to call customer service…for a credit card company.

Mind you, some credit card companies have some decent customer service.  They’re based somewhere between out of my ass and Neverland.  Wells Fargo has been especially (***SARCASM ALERT***) awesome during my tenure as a cardholder.  I’ve carried a zero balance for some time now, so like any credit card company with a fiscally responsible customer, they solicit the piss out of me, trying to sell me identity theft protection, insurance policies, and even asking me, a customer with a paid off credit card, why I’m not charging anything.  Oh, you’re right, I love finance charges…off to the mall!!!

But I digress.  I apologize for the rant, but I don’t do well with credit card customer service.  Anyway, I changed my address over the phone.  A few weeks later, Wells Fargo sent me a confirmation letter of my address change…to my old address (Figure 2).

[Five minute head banging against desk session]

Granted, this was one of the less painful experiences I’d had with credit card companies, but it was also one of the dumbest.

If you’re brave enough, leave your own customer service experiences with credit card companies in the comments.

Figure 2 - Kind of defeats the purpose, doesn't it?